Relationships don't get easier with practice! If there was love in your relationship then you will probably like to know how to get him back.
Even in loveless relationships, there is sometimes still a need to make him come back. In the case of abuse, normally, it would definitely be a bad idea to get back together.
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That would be an unhealthy relationship that can
be best left broken.
The question, in that case, would probably be
- how to keep him away from me!
In a normal, healthy relationship there is a system.
In the beginning, you will find there is the excitement and marvel of meeting
someone who makes your heart pound.
Everything is wonderful and you are both head
over heels in love. As you get to know each other, the shine wears off, but a
feeling of comfort and contentment replaces the excitement.
You become used to having your partner around and miss them when they're not there.
Along with the comfort, come the little things
that you didn't notice or you didn't mind earlier.
Some of the little habits can trigger to
annoy. This is where normal, everyday problems can creep in.
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This is where you will find out how much in
love you really are. All relationships have problems, and all relationships
need work somehow to keep them happy.
The question is if you find problems, are you
prepared to do the work to save your love?
Has he done it because for him it's over, and if
so, is your relationship worth saving and long-lasting?
If you believe that your love is worth saving and long-lasting, and you want to know how to get him back, then here are 4 simple steps that you can take.
1 - Apologize.
Being sorry can be a good first step to
getting him back. Saying you are sorry doesn't mean that you take
responsibility for the breakup.
You can't blame yourself for what has
happened. Both of you had a share to play in whatever went wrong, and both of
you will need to fix it. So, what is it that you say sorry for?
Be sure you are clear about this; otherwise
even saying sorry can lead to an argument.
Don't allow him to cloud the issues.
HOW TO RECOGNIZE THE WARNING SIGNS OF A BREAKUP
Don't let him make you take the blame.
However, don't let yourself become defensive.
Keep all your emotions in check. Try to keep
calm, at this critical moment.
2 - Try to sit
down and talk matters through.
If you can, get him to meet with you to talk
about what happened. Don't do this in a pleading, desperate way.
He may not want to do this. Men can find it
hard to sit down and talk things over.
If he refuses to talk, then you may have to
abandon this step.
If he agrees to a talk, then you will need to
keep on top of your feelings.
You can't control how he acts or feels, but
you need to control yourself.
At all costs, avoid a fight. This will quickly
make matters worse than before (if that's possible).
Try to make him understand that you are not
talking about blame here.
You just need to talk about what the problems
are. If you can both talk about issues and leave aside any talk of who was
wrong, then you will be much more likely to find a way to get back together.
If you feel the need, then you could get
someone else involved to help mediate between you.
There are professionals who can help with a
meeting between you.
3 - You both need
some space.
Although a meeting between you can be a good
way of talking out your problems, there may be reasons why it won't work.
Just because you want to talk, doesn't mean
that he does. The timing may not be right. Feelings may be too raw.
Don't try to force getting together, when the
time is not right. It is important for you both to have some space and time to
get your heads around the breakup.
This will give you both time to cool your
emotions, and especially for him to realize what he has done by leaving you.
Then you can think about how to make him come
back. Chasing after him will prevent him from having the opportunity to miss
what he had, and what he is giving up.
4 - Respect
yourself and make sure he knows it.
You are not desperate. Desperate and broken
are not attractive, and are not the way to win him back Moping around the house
will not get him back, and will only make you feel worse.
Get out and about with your friends. Get a
life. Go shopping. Get up and get on with your life.
If he comes around to your house, it will be
great if he finds you out. You will be out enjoying yourself, and he will be
left wondering what you're up to. Don't answer his calls.
Make him leave a message. Call him back the
next day if you want. Let him know that you are busy and have a life to live.
He will probably be confused and at the same
time be more aware of his loss.
He will know that, if he wants you back, he is
going to have to work for you.
He will be the desperate one, not you.
These are 4 simple, beginning ways to answer
your problem of how to get him back.
What if you just can't get him back?
I know how hard it can be to try and make him
understand just how special your love was, but if you really want to make his
heart belong to you again you'll need to learn any single formula above that
works wonderfully well.
Good Luck.
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